Colangelo Fired! Then Lands DMV Dream Job in Bold New Career Pivot

STOCKTON, CA – Stockton's interim city manager, Steve "Clusterfuck" Colangelo, was unanimously fired last night. The city council, in a move that can only be described as "doing the absolute least they could do after a colossal screw-up," swiftly replaced him with Will Crew, who is once again (for now) Stockton’s interim city manager. Crew, you may recall, held the job after Harry Black's January exit, only to be replaced by Colangelo, a man whose prior municipal experience amounted to precisely zero. Ah, Stockton, ever a beacon of stable governance.

Colangelo truly outdid himself in the art of administrative chaos. His tenure was a spectacular dumpster fire of gaffes, missteps, and general befuddlement that brought Stockton more "unnecessary controversy" than a Kanye West album release party.

Then the bombshell. Moments after his firing, Colangelo announced that he's off to take a key position with the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).

"It was all part of the plan, folks," Colangelo elaborated. "I needed to beef up my resume. My time here in Stockton, my masterful demonstration of government inexperience in action, my unparalleled managerial inefficiency – it’s just the kind of skillset the DMV values. I mean, who better to help them achieve new lows in customer service than someone who successfully turned a city government into a perpetual blooper reel?"

He concluded his triumphant declaration with a flourish, "My shitshow of a job in Stockton wasn't a failure, it was a rigorous training program. And now, the DMV, prepare yourselves. Steve Colangelo is coming, and together, we'll redefine the meaning of bureaucratic agony!"

This leaves Stockton residents to wonder, can the DMV truly reach new lows with Colangelo at the helm, or will even he find a limit to government inefficiency? Only time, and many, many frustrating hours in line, will tell.

Colangelo's Master Stroke: From City Hall to DMV