Colangelo or McDonald? Is Stockton Trading One Clown for Another at City Hall?

STOCKTON, CA – Sources close to City Hall confirm that Interim City Manager Steve Colangelo could be getting the axe. Tomorrow night's meeting features an agenda item so blunt it practically screams "You're Fired!" – a full evaluation and possible removal of Colangelo.

For those keeping score, this isn't the first time the rumor mill has churned about Colangelo's impending departure. Just weeks ago, closed-door sessions hinted at a similar fate, but like a clichéd horror movie villain, Colangelo seemingly survived. Until Councilman Brando Villapudua dropped a bombshell, alleging extortion and a Brown Act violation by Vice Mayor Jason Lee.

Lee, in a move that shocked absolutely no one, responded with a cease-and-desist letter that was reportedly less effective than a screen door on a submarine. Villapudua, with excellent legal counsel, likely used the letter as a fancy coaster. As a surprise to no one, the retraction deadline has come and gone.

Mayor Christina Fugazi and Jason Lee’s short time leading together has been a masterclass in chaotic governance. It began with a unified front in the firing of former competent City Manager Harry Black and replacement with the incompetent Steve Colangelo. Now, it appears their political alliance has fractured, with Lee reportedly developing an allergy to Colangelo's continued employment.

But the real scoop involves Jason Lee’s rumored replacement pick: none other than Ronald McDonald. Yes, the clown that sells cheeseburgers. Sources suggest this isn't a new infatuation for Lee, whose primary justification for hiring Colangelo was provided in this compelling statement, "I don't care who sits in that chair. They could put Ronald McDonald. They could put a clown." With that, the City Council proceeded to "put a clown" in charge of City Hall by hiring Steve Colangelo. Now, it looks like the council might trade in one older clown for a newer model.

The only thing standing in Ronald’s way is Steve Colangelo himself, who is reportedly scrambling to secure the four votes needed to keep the plush job he is egregiously unqualified to hold. The 209 Times contingent, Mayor Fugazi, Councilmembers Ponce, and Padilla are said to be firmly in Colangelo’s corner. Vice Mayor Lee, however, is leading the charge in Colangelo's removal. Councilmembers Enríquez and Blower have publicly called for a City Manager with actual municipal experience. This leaves Brando Villapudua as the potential swing vote holding Colangelo's professional destiny in his hands.

Rumors abound of a clandestine meeting in Linden between Colangelo, Villapudua, and the puppet master Sam Fant. The purpose? To secure Villapudua's crucial fourth vote. Villapudua, of course, vehemently denies these allegations, stating he couldn't even find Linden on a map let alone have eaten at a restaurant in this obscure town.

Stockton residents will have to wait until after City Council closed session to learn Colangelo’s fate. One can only wonder if the next city manager will come with a side of fries.

Will Stockton's Next City Manager Come with Fries? Colangelo's Fate Hangs by a Vote