Three-Way Mexican Standoff: Council's Tiebreaker Vote Rests on Who "Get’s the Bird" from Brando

STOCKTON, CA — Stockton City Council will hold a vote tonight that will decide the fate of the city's top administrative role. Will they give another contract to Steve "Fiscal Mismanagement Virtuoso" Colangelo, or will they turn the reins over to Will "City Manager Qualified" Crew? The ultimate decision likely rests with council's resident wildcard, Brando Villapudua (aka Stockton Diablo).

Leading the charge against Colangelo is none other than Vice Mayor Jason Lee, a man who has suddenly developed a passionate belief in the need for a city manager with actual municipal experience. He's found allies in Councilmembers Mario Enriquez and Michael Blower, forming what we'll call "Team Crew."

Opposing them is the formidable "209 Times voting block," a tight-knit coalition of Mayor Christina Fugazi and Councilmembers Michele Padilla and Mariela Ponce. Their unwavering support for Colangelo is touching, and their shared vision for a City Manager who doesn't necessarily need a resume is truly an inspiration to underqualified hopefuls everywhere.

This leaves the vote deadlocked at three-to-three, and the fate of Stockton rests in the hands of Councilman Brando Villapudua. Herein lies the delicious paradox. Brando has recently been at war with Jason Lee, but he's also been the target of vicious attacks from the 209 Times for the last two years. The question isn't about policy or qualifications; it's about who Brando will "give the middle finger" to. Will he deny the 209 Times their puppet by siding with Team Crew, or will he give Lee the bird he so often deserves and bring back Colangelo? The entire city holds its breath, waiting to see who receives Brando's scorn.

However, many observers believe the outcome is already decided. Mayor Fugazi would not have put Colangelo on the agenda if she didn't believe she had the votes. It is a foregone conclusion that Stockton will get more Colangelo, because six months is simply not enough time for the city's self-appointed power brokers, Sam Fant and 209 Times CEO Motecuzoma "Motec" Sanchez, to fully cash in on having a puppet city manager. They need Colangelo in that seat for as long as possible.

If Colangelo is selected, expect the Mayor to drag her feet on the process of hiring a permanent city manager even longer. Stockton should have had potential candidates interviewed by this point, but Fugazi will delay this as long as she possibly can until Motec and Fant get their payday. After all, the people's business can wait; cash flow can't.

The only thing we know for sure is that after tonight’s closed session, someone is getting the bird. We'll just have to wait and see whose feathered friend gets the vote.

Stockton Diablo's Choice: Villapudua Holds the Key to City Hall's Leadership